That ficcie that Coricopat was bugging me about...
by Chibi Teazer
Summary: It's that fic that thingy has been asking me to do.... very funny.. please R/R
1. Part One (The madness and insanity begin...

Well, this is my latest piece of (Cori – Now now…) story writing? (Cori – *Shaking head in disbelief*) It's that one that Cori was buggin me about… yeah… um… so please R/R. Thanx.  
  
Cori – Don't forget to visit her website! At: http://www.geocities.com/chibi_teazer/index.html  
  
I can't believe you made me do that… I hate you…  
  
Or you can mail me at:  
  
rumpleteazers_mingvase@hotmail.com  
  
ONTO THE FIC!!  
  
That ficcie that Coricopat was bugging me about to write about him…. (phew)  
  
Okay.. lemme see… where do I start??  
  
(Cori – Try a beginning…)  
  
Der…  
  
Okay, how's this:  
  
Cori was sitting on the old car one day  
  
(Cori – One day??) (What's the matter with that????) (Cori – It's stupid!!)  
  
Fine then.. how about this??:  
  
Cori was sitting placidly early on Monday of last week on the car contempl.. (Cori – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)  
  
Okay… lets see….:  
  
Coricopat was cleaning himself on Monday of last week when Rumpleteazer walked past.  
  
(Cori – Why do all your fics HAVE to include Teazer??) (Ummm…..)  
  
Okay.. lets try fourth time lucky…  
  
Coricopat was cleaning himself on Monday of last week when Munkustrap walked past.  
  
(hah! Can't argue with that!!) (Cori – Pah!)  
  
Munkustrap seemed to be in deep thought. So Coricopat being the nosey pain in the (Cori – Yes, we know that you hate me but no strong language please, you'll upset the kitties.) (ooh.. who's mister responsible…) decided to find out what was wrong. So he delved (Cori – I do NOT delve) he decided to dive into Munku's mind and find out the problem. Once he had he was damn annoyed with himself for doing it (Cori – I do not like the sound of this….). Munku had a crush on Tantomile!! (Cori – YOU SCRAP THAT LAST SENTENCE OR I CLAW YOUR FACE TO SMITHEREENS!!!!) (Uhh… yeah… not so 'mister responsible' now huh?) (Cori – SCRAP IT OR ELSE!!) (ok! ok!) Munku had his mind on a different queen. And it wasn't in 'that' way. He was concerned about a certain queen and tom (Cori – Oh god… lemme guess…) (Actually yes it was them!) who had just nicked the heart of the desert (Cori – What a lame-a$$ pun), a diamond worth more than the hope diamond. (Cori – Funny that…) Coricopat jumped off… um where were you sitting? (Cori – you never actually said) Oh… Coricopat walked over to his friend. (Cori – He's not my…. Oh.. um…)  
  
"What's up?" (Cori – I am not an American rapper. I do not say "what's up".)  
  
"What is the matter Munkustrap?" (Cori – Neither am I a snooty up-class snob!)  
  
"What's the matter?" (Cori – Thankyou)  
  
"Oh, it's that notorious duo again. They've stolen the heart of the desert. They're gonna be kicked out of Victoria Grove for sure!"  
  
"Oh dear! That's terrible!"(Cori – Since when did I become a whingeing, withering queen??) (Since now…)  
  
"Can I ask you to do something for me?" (Cori – This sounds very baaaadddd…..)  
  
"Of course! I'll do anything for you! (Cori – Scrap that last sentence. I am not in luuurrvee with Munkustrap… you dope….)  
  
"Sure Munku. What do you want me to do?"  
  
"I want you and Tantomile (Cori – I like this sentence already) to delve (Cori – I've already said once that I do not DELVE!!)  
  
"I want you and Tantomile to go inside Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer's minds and see what motivates them to steal from everyone!" (Cori - I already know the answer to that… they're bloody kleptomaniacs…)  
  
"Um… alright then." Said Coricopat  
  
"Good, thank you. Could you go and talk to Tantomile."  
  
"Sure." (Cori – Oooh! I've turned all American have I?) (Nothing wrong with that….)  
  
So Coricopat… (How tempting it is to say that he contemplated life…. Humph) went of in search of Tantomile. He saw her sitting (Cori – Tantomile deserves a nice description ok!!??) (Fine then..)  
  
He went in search of her. He noticed that most of the queens were gathered together in a bunch talking about the heart of the desert's disappearance. It was then that he saw her beautiful lithe, black body stretched out on the old car, listening intently to Bombalurina's recount of the theft. Her fur shimmered in the light, in such a way that only magical cats can shimmer. Her eyes were bright as she laughed at one of Bombi's silly jokes about the notorious duo. Coricopat tried to get her attention but failed dismally, she was having to much fun so he decided to leave her there. (Cori – Would not.) (You are that heartless that you would take your 'beloved' away from fun?) (Cori – 0o0o0o0o0o0o0) (Huh??) (Cori – Goldfish noises according to JestaAriadne…) (Have you been into my diary again??!?!?!?!?) (Cori – Er… was that file on your computer a diary….?) (AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOU MONSTER!!!!!!)  
  
He wandered out of the junkyard (Cori – Cats don't 'wander' they strut or they saunter but not wander).. Fine then! He strutted out of the junkyard and immediately banged into the Rum Tum Tugger who had a rather interesting 'head gear' that day.  
  
"What the heck are you doing Tugg?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"Cori?!?!"  
  
"Last time I checked I was." (Cori – *Voice dripping with sarcasm* Maybe I should check more often?)  
  
"Quick! Help me get this off before the girls see me!"  
  
"What is it??"  
  
Coricopat listened intently as Tugger re-layed the story for the morning. He had been running down the hall of his home looking over his shoulder to make sure that the family pollicle wasn't gaining on him so he didn't notice the lampshade that was in front of him. So he landed right inside it. It was now stuck so that you could only see half of his mane and his eyes.  
  
"umm… that's all very well but how do I get it off??"  
  
"PULL!!!"  
  
(Cori – Der…)  
  
"Oh.. alright then."  
  
So Coricopat pulled but to no avail. The lampshade was stick on his head. Coricopat sat down next to a writhing Tugger.  
  
"This is not gunna work." (Cori – Gunna?!)  
  
"Wot the' 'ell are ya doin'?" said a male voice from behind the two.  
  
"Jerrie?!?!?" said Tugger. "Teazer's not with ya is she??"  
  
A very sharp giggle was heard at that point. (Cori – Why has the giggle and the 'shhh' become their trademark??)  
  
"Groan.." said Tugger.  
  
"I was supposed to be finding you actually." Said Coricopat thoughtfully.  
  
"Wot abaht?"  
  
"Ar… the thingy that you stole."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Wanna know why you took it?"  
  
"Cause I' woz reeli pre'ty."  
  
"That the only reason?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You realise that you could be kicked out of Victoria Grove for that??"  
  
(Cori – They already have been. Twice.) (They have?!?!?!) (Cori – You don't think the family just say "It's that horrible cat" do you?) (Um yeah) (Cori – Well they don't! Last time they had to sleep in the vegie patch!)  
  
"Well, yes."  
  
"So why are you doing it?"  
  
"EXCUSE ME??? HELLOO!!! WHAT ABOUT ME!!!" said a rather annoyed Tugger who at that point looked like a storm trooper. (Star Wars)  
  
"Go to the junkyard. I'll message Tanti and she'll do something about it."  
  
"Fine!"  
  
Coricopat was so glad that he was gone that he forgot to message Tanti.  
  
"Now! I have been sent to find you an alternative to stealing."  
  
(Cori – Aint gonna happen. Those two are so addicted to stealing that you can't change them!) (Who said I was going to?) (Cori – Oh..)  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Wot?"  
  
"Please tell me you know what that means?" (Cori – They aren't stupid. They do understand English you fool.) (Blah blah blah)  
  
"Um.." they said looking at each other in confusion.  
  
"We got'a go now.." said Mungojerrie backing slowly down the alleyway they had appeared from. Cori watched with amusement as they scampered away. There was nothing at all to be done about those two and both he and Munkustrap knew it. (Cori – Everyone knows it… dope..) (WOULD YOU STOP INSULTING ME!!!!!!) (Cori – OOOOooohhh!! Scary!!!!) He wandered back to the junkyard and heard various shouts and screams. Mainly directed to himself.  
  
'Uh oh..' he thought… 'this isn't gonna be good'.  
  
He slunk into the junkyard to find Tugger the centre of attention. But not in the normal way. Indeed he was very enraged. (Cori – Tugger doesn't get enraged..) (You aint seen nuthing yet!)  
  
"Coricopat!!!!!!!!" he was yelling at the top of his voice.  
  
"Um.." he said before hiding and trying to contact Tantomile.  
  
'What's going on?' he asked her. (Through thought speak or the equivalent of that)  
  
'Um.. were you supposed to tell me about Tugger's little shall we say 'accident'?'  
  
"Oh $h!t…." he said  
  
'I assume you didn't' said Tantomile knowing full well what he had just said.  
  
'Uh yeah… sorry…'  
  
'You should be the one saying sorry not me… cause you are gonna be the sorry one after this…'  
  
'Yeah well…' (Cori – Yeah well?) (Go jump)  
  
Coricopat slunk out of his hiding place. A plan formulating in his head.  
  
"Tugger!!" he yelled.  
  
All the cats looked up at the Kamikaze cat. Once Tugger was angry at someone you DON'T give yourself up. It was the first thing that they learned as kits! Tugger's eyes were flaming as he advanced up the pile of garbage that Cori was standing on. All the cats watched as he jumped over old banana skins and bits of eggshell. But then he jumped over (Remember he's still got the lampshade on his head) (Cori – How could we forget??) an old sandwich bag and fell on top of a three week old tuna sandwich that even Asparagus, the tribe's live garbage bin, wouldn't eat. (Cori – That was a bit mean.) (I could have had you as the garbage bin.) (Cori – Oh.) He slipped on it and fell over backwards. All the cats made come sort of noise, be it screaming, cheering or 'oh no's' they were all riveted to their positions. He fell over backwards yelling curses that made even Etccy and Leccy cover their ears in shock. His head went through his feet as he rolled down the hill. And as his head continued to roll down hill with his feet around it the lampshade began coming loose.  
  
"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CORIC—CC___ooo__Pa---RRR!!!"  
  
Well, you'd say things funny too if you were rolling down a hill. (Cori – Please… continue…I'm dying to know if I die.. hah ahha! Dying to know if I'll die!!) (Lame…)  
  
Tugger finally came to a halt at the bottom of the mound not before hitting the microwave on the other side of the junkyard though. He sat up and shook his head. Something was wrong. Not wrong… something was different.. He looked down and let out a scream. Not of anger but of joy. He ran up the hill and reached the top in two seconds flat.  
  
"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!"  
  
Said Tugger before squeezing Coricopat so hard that he had no air to say 'get off me'.  
  
"*Ahem*". Said a voice from behind. "MINE!"  
  
(Cori – She's not that spoilt.) (Don't you like a little romance in the story?) (Cori – Well…) Tugger let go so that Tantomile could make sure there were no broken bones.  
  
"I still hate you though. For not telling Tantomile before."  
  
"Oh.. great.."  
  
He and Tantomile decided to retire to their den. It was late that night when they heard a 'giggle' and a 'shhh'. And then a yell of  
  
"GET OUTTA HERE!!! YOU'RE IN THE VEGGIE PATCH TONIGHT!!!"  
  
Tantomile curled closer to her mate.  
  
"They're at it again…" she sighed before slipping into dreamland.  
  
"Yeah… guess I failed then…"  
  
And that's where I'm gonna leave it for now. Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure  
  
(Cori – Ahem.. get over it… you made this rubbish up anyway…)  
  
Bleagh….. 


	2. Part Two.... (Here we go again..... *sig...

(Cori – Shall we try a part two?)  
  
Hell no…  
  
(Cori – Awwww… go on..)  
  
Fine then. Gimme a plot line.  
  
(Cori – Tantomile and I meeting and falling madly in love…)  
  
We don't want to scare the readers away Cori.  
  
(Cori - *makes a weird looking face at me*)  
  
By the way, I did find a picture of you and Tantomile! Are you proud of me?  
  
(Cori – Um.. no..)  
  
Anyway! Onto the story!  
  
(Cori – You haven't got a plot. You are making this up as you go.)  
  
Well, duh…  
  
(Cori – Try a beginning.. okay?)  
  
Fine! Once upon a time….  
  
(Cori – NOOOOOOOO!!!)  
  
In a galaxy far far away….  
  
(Cori – HELLLLLL NOOOOO!!!!)  
  
There lived a cat named Coricopat.  
  
(That rhymes!!) (Cori – Aww gee….)  
  
He was a prince of an entire planet named Stupidplanet.  
  
(Cori – Um.. I don't think so…. Let's start again…)  
  
Alright then. Once upon a time there lived a little man inside a mushroom.  
  
(Cori – You've been reading fairy tales again haven't you?)  
  
Maybe…  
  
(Cori – Let's try nnnnooooo fairy tales okay… I saw the last ones….)  
  
Alright then. Coricopat was walking down a street one day when he saw a particularly handsome tom. (Cori – No matter what you stupid fanfic writers think, I do not have thoughts like that about other toms! Scrap it CT)  
  
Fine! Cori decided one day to go and visit his owner's ice-cream factory.  
  
(Cori – Ice-cream factory?) (Got a problem with that?) (Cori - *Noticing CT 're-found' ball point pen being waved in front of his nose {see little red tiding bombi…. Sigh} and decides to leave it at that.*)  
  
He was walking to the junkyard to invite all his friends along when he came across Etcetera sitting on the pavement.  
  
(Cori – I can smell trouble….) (aww….)  
  
Etcetera for once in her life seemed to be almost normal.  
  
"Whatcha doin?" (Cori – Try again, I don't use slang that bad)  
  
"What're you doing?" he asked  
  
"Nothing much." She answered no opening her closed eyes. (Cori – You never said they were closed,) (Well they were ok!) (Cori – Fine, don't get your tail in a knot)  
  
She seemed almost to be meditating. He looked at her curiously.  
  
"Okay then, why are you meditating?" he asked.  
  
"I'm not meditating you dope!" she yelled  
  
"Woah.. calm down kitty!" he said.  
  
"Sorry, I'm trying to look cute so that someone will feed me."  
  
"With your eyes closed?"  
  
"It was a start!"  
  
"Yeah.. I'm just gonna go.. over there…" he said pointing to the front of the ice-cream shop. (Cori – You mean factory right?) (Nope, it's just changed to a shop! I decided to change it okay!)  
  
Cori walked inside the shop and saw Tantomile sitting on the bench.  
  
"Heya babe!" (Cori – NO! NOT ON YOUR NELLY!) (Who's Nelly?) (Cori – CHANGE IT OR I SHALL REMOVE YOUR VITAL ORGANS THROUGH YOUR NOSE!)  
  
"Hi Tantomile!" he said cheerily.  
  
"Hello." She said shyly.  
  
He then noted that he mistress was talking to his master. They seemed to be dating according to the love goddess of the junkyard, Bombalurina.  
  
"What are you doing?" (Cori – That's the second time I've had to say that in a five minute period.) (So?)  
  
"Not much, the mistress spent an hour putting on makeup and other decorations on her face to come down here and talk to him." She said jerking her head in the direction of Cori's master.  
  
"Hmm… he took me out shopping the other day for a ring for her." He said jerking his head in the direction of the woman.  
  
"Oh!" said Tantomile excitedly. "She said to me that she hoped he would give her a ring."  
  
"That's a good thing right?" asked Coricopat confusedly (Cori – I am not confused EVER.) (Oh… right….)  
  
"Yeah," she said quietly.  
  
"Is he proposing to her?"  
  
"I hope so, she was so melancholy when they had that little breakup a few months ago."  
  
"Yeah, he was always grumpy to and forgot to feed me." Said Coricopat trying to erase the memories.  
  
(Cori - This is beginning to sound like a cheesy romantic comedy…) (Well?)  
  
The two cats chatted for a few minutes before jumping three feet in the air after hearing Tantomile's mistress screaming and almost throttling the male with joy. (Cori – That could have been a very bad sentence.) (But it wasn't, was it?)  
  
Life went very fast for the 'un-twins' (See the truth about Coricopat and Tantomile... I just like calling them that). Their owners moved in together and the two had to live together. (Cori – We already do numbskull…) (Eh?) Their mistress seemed very intent on breeding them however, they weren't to pleased about that. For one thing a Jellicle female chooses her partner and humans have no say in it whatsoever. Tantomile, whenever she was put in these situations simply slept. Sleeping was her favourite past time. (Cori – This isn't going to well, I don't like those last few sentences…) (Ungh… you are so hard to please!) (Cori – he he he :P)  
  
Life went very fast for the 'un-twins'. Their owners moved in together and the two had to live together. (Cori – Okay. This is a good start, now make it even better.) Tantomile (Cori – WONDERFUL ALREADY!!) (*sigh*) was very shy around her new partner. It wasn't until the Jellicle ball for that year that she decided to do something about this 'attraction' that she and her partner felt for each other. It really was a daring plan. (Cori - ) (Heh heh heh… GO THE BLANKING MACHINE!!!) (Cori - ) (HA HA!!!)  
  
She had had a chat with Bombi, and they had decided that the only way for him to say 'I love you, will you be my mate' etc was if she could be alone during the ball with him. All the general 'meetings' of Rum Tum and Jenny happened and then along came the MACAVITY scare. Well! What a perfect opportunity!  
  
(I have just decided (8:27pm March 4th 2002) that this is going to be an on going serial.) (Cori – Bravo… *sigh*)  
  
Tantomile crept up to where Coricopat was sitting, contempl (Cori – Oh geez, get over it already!). She ran a paw along his shoulder blade causing him to sit up rigidly.  
  
"Tanti?!" he said surprisedly as he turned towards the feline behind him.  
  
"Hi." She said quietly.  
  
"AWWWWWWW!!!!"  
  
"LOOKIT THAT!"  
  
"Gev' em sum proivacy!"  
  
"Whoi?"  
  
"Coos you wouldn' loike I' if the 'ole troibe perved in on us wen we… um… *cough* neva moind…"  
  
And they all lived happily ever after.  
  
The End.  
  
  
  
(Cori – Are you kidding me?)  
  
(No.)  
  
(Cori – That was the worst.)  
  
(Do I care about your opinion?)  
  
(Cori – Evidently not otherwise you'd make it a bit longer *hint* *hint*)  
  
(Sorry, no can do.)  
  
Ahhhh!!! I've had enough of that for the moment. And as said in the middle of the actual story (eh he he uh hmm….) I will continue this on as a serial maybe writing one every week or so and we'll see how the reviews are! Oksie? Oh damn… I forgot the disclaimer again!.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
  
  
  
  
(:P)(Blanking machine.) (If you want to see the real disclaimer go here.) (No really!) (No, go to one of my other fics…) 


End file.
